When I was 25 and single, I got pregnant. I was afraid of my judgmental father’s reaction. My boyfriend then is now my husband of 27 years. I chose to abort out of fear of my dad and wanting a fairytale wedding, so he went along with my decision. In October of 1989, at around 6 weeks pregnant, a nurse held my hand as the masked doctor performed the surgical abortion. I thought I was just terminating “a pregnancy”!  I went on to get engaged the following June on what likely could have been the day my first child would have been born! We had the big wedding, bought a beautiful home, and had four amazing children. 

I stuffed the reality of it deep inside of me, not realizing this was the root cause of years of anger, marital problems, and turning to alcohol to numb my feelings. I carried on as if the abortion never took place. But 25 years later, the memory resurfaced with a vengeance. I decided to look up what actually happens in a surgical abortion and I could not stop crying! I’ve balled my eyes out seeing babies and toddlers in stores, on tv, or at church.