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Healing the Shockwaves of Abortion
 

EXPRESS YOUR REGRET

Do You Regret Your Abortion or Your Lost Fatherhood? By filling in the form below you can add your expression of regret to our list. All information remains confidential and is presented anonymously

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I Am Ready
Anna
Missouri, United States

It was the summer of 1986, and I was 18 years old.  I lived in a one-bedroom apartment with my mom and little brother.  My mom was a single mom, and she had her own crazy social life.  We were more friends than mother-daughter.   I found out I was pregnant, and my first thought was that my mom would be angry.  My boyfriend and my two close friends knew I was pregnant.  My boyfriend supported me. 

There is a lot about this experience that I don't remember.   I am not sure how I got to the clinic or who went with me. I went to a clinic where they did a pregnancy test, and I was given a one-day pass for Medicaid. I wouldn't have to pay a dime for this procedure. I don't remember too much except wearing a gown, going in a room, lying on the bed, and a lady telling me that they were going to put a mask on me and count backward from 10.  Eight was the last number I remember and, when I opened my eyes, everything was over. 

Nothing about this seemed traumatic, but when I got home, as I laid on my bed, I remember a very deep sadness.  I would wake up in the middle of the night crying and feeling lost. Soon after that I would have anxiety attacks and fear dying and going to hell. I had no relationship with God other than the occasional church visit or desperate prayer once in a while. For many years I suppressed the memories and refused to think about it, until I felt the need to tell my grown children my secret.  

One day I heard a lady speak about her experience and how she received healing through a Surrendering the Secret class. I sought healing through the class, and now I am ready to be Silent No More.   

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