I had an abortion because I was nervous about being pregnant at 17, single, and because my boyfriend wanted me to have one.  When I went to Planned Parenthood, the worker there told me that I wouldn’t be aborting a baby, because it was nothing more than a blob of cells.  She then told me that I would have to forget about school if I decided not to have an abortion.  I scheduled the appointment.  Because it was against the law in 1975 for a minor to get an abortion without parental consent, the woman from Planned Parenthood told me to bring a legal ID from someone else, and not to tell my parents.  A couple of years later, I was in the same situation, and had gotten another abortion.

As time went on after the abortions, I tried to hide my shame.  There were physical aspects from the abortion that were bothersome, but nothing like the shame from having an abortion, and the guilt for both the abortion, and the lies I had to tell to get it.

A few years later, a friend of mine brought me to the Lord, and I had accepted Christ as my Savior.  

I began to see that abortion is murder, and the guilt and the shame were at its worst.  Years later, thoughts of that day kept coming back to me – over and over again.  I realized that I had done the most awful thing I could ever do, and in the most inhumane way -  I paid someone to kill my unborn baby.  After that, I felt that I should suffer.  I felt cheap and unworthy – after all, I used sex for recreation; I used abortion for birth control.

Even though I didn’t think that I was worthy of God’s forgiveness for this, the pain was too much, and I decided to go to Him, anyway.  God’s love and forgiveness came, and eventually the images stopped.  

A friend of mine told me about the after-care abortion recovery program at Rachel’s Vineyard, where I found healing.  

But the best was yet to come.  When God forgave me, he turned the situation into something good.  

He made me realize that I could help others who could have to make the same choice I had, or those who have experienced the pain & suffering after an abortion as I have.  I got involved with pro-life groups, and participated in events such as rallies, marches, and protests in opposition to abortion.   

I realized that my shame and guilt were now gone.  

The intimidation tactics of Planned Parenthood to get me to have an abortion, the abortion procedure, and the physical and emotional aftermath are too painful for any woman to have to deal with.  An unborn baby is a human being, and deserves to be nurtured, and treated as such.   I believe that Roe v. Wade is the worst U.S. Supreme Court decision since the Dred Scott decision.  Our silence is paid for by the blood of the unborn.  Silence equals acceptance.  This is why I am silent no more.