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Healing the Shockwaves of Abortion


Do You Regret Your Abortion or Your Lost Fatherhood? By filling in the form below you can add your expression of regret to our list. All information remains confidential and is presented anonymously

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Transforming the Culture One Heart at a Time
Connie Thomson
Ontario, Canada

My name is Connie Thomson.  Regretfully I twice made the decision to have an abortion.  I was so confused.  Certainly my conscience warned me strongly not to do it, but then the medical professionals told me it was a blob of tissue, and the laws permitting it indicated to me that it was not killing.  I was young and in crisis, and I had not acquired the ability to reason past deceptive doctors, nurses, and courts.  I grew up believing we lived in a country that held every human being as inherently valuable.  I trusted health care professionals, and I believed our Canadian legislature operated in justice. 

I did not escape the proverbial spiral that accompanies every “Choice” to kill one’s child.  Self-destructive behaviour ensued because I had found no reason to care about myself anymore. 

Directly by the hands of that physician and those nurses, my babies died a horrific and brutal slaughter and in some manner which is beyond my comprehension, I died as well. 

About a decade went by and if I wouldn’t have had my beautiful living daughter to raise, I would have killed myself.  She was my only purpose in living.  I felt powerless over evil and I felt as though it consumed me.  I reached for the Scriptures, and all alone, in my isolated pit, I read the bible, a little every day. 

I believed that I had committed the ‘unforgivable sin’, and that I was destined for hell.  One day I got on my knees and asked God to tell my babies that I was sorry. 

I’ll never forget that moment when I heard God speak to me.  In my inner ear I heard him say this:  “They’re praying for you now.”  I cried a river. 

This was the pivotal moment of my entire life!  From this I realized true love.  I had not known a love like this ever before.  I knew this unconditional love of my children was from God, and I just knew that if they could forgive me, then He forgave me!  I knew it came through them from Him. 

I turned my life around.  I began to love Him because He first loved me.  He gave me power over the evil through grace and public confession, the Word of God, obedience, prayer, a ton of fasting, and perseverance.  If I had known about the power given to our Priests in the confessional it would have been a lot easier and I and my daughter would have had much less to sacrifice.  Alas, I trust it will all work out for our good.

Eventually I trained as a Nurse.  Wouldn’t you know I was assigned to the O.R. on abortion day.  I observed in pre-op the many women who would suffer that day.  Some came in with men who seemed cold and forceful.  Some women looked depressed and empty.  In the O.R. I was in conflict.  Today I regret that I didn’t speak out and tell them what I knew.  I stood next to my abortionist and said nothing.  At the time I was focussed on forgiving him as I had been holding a lot of anger.  I knew if I said anything I would lose my opportunity to become a Nurse.  Ironically, the nursing profession is known as one that ‘eats their young’.  Today, I wish I would have spoken up and suffered the consequences.  I observed one procedure which fulfilled the expectations of my instructors, and then I exited the room and went into the Recovery Room.  There I witnessed the women waking up crying.  We didn’t share any words, I just prayed for them.  
After a decade of hospital nursing and coming to terms with the fact that the system is poisoned by this human sacrifice of abortion, I could no longer remain therein.  My refusal to cooperate anymore did cost a lot, and it took another decade to pick up the pieces. 

I have a strong desire to empower our health care professionals so they can bring honour back to the medical professions by speaking out and refusing to do the evil.  Today, I am nursing our community back to health by activities specific to pro-life ministry and I am grateful for the privilege.  God willing, I will be able to continue and step by step, one heart at a time, be a part of a life giving movement to transform a culture. 


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