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Healing the Shockwaves of Abortion
 

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Do You Regret Your Abortion or Your Lost Fatherhood? By filling in the form below you can add your expression of regret to our list. All information remains confidential and is presented anonymously


 
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I Found Peace
Tracey
Georgia, United States

On February 25, 2006, I made a decision, a decision that has changed my life forever.  I walked out of the abortion clinic dead inside.  I was numb and could not feel anymore.  I knew that God had seen what I did, I knew I could not hide it from God.   Growing up in a Christian home had taught me that.  It had also taught me that God could and would forgive me.  But to me, I had done the unforgivable, the unthinkable.  I felt I wore a scarlet “A” on my forehead.  I remember the moment I came to realization of what I did.  My daughter was visiting with her Grandparents, and I was home alone.  I had walked into her room and saw the rocking chair I held her in so many times.  I then realized that I would never rock, hold or kiss my unborn baby in that chair.                              

For the next four years I descended into a world of anger, shame, guilt, pain and constant longing for my unborn baby.  After my abortion I was broken, nightmares came, emotional numbing, depression, flashbacks and anniversary syndrome.  I forced myself to be the super mom but, the truth was abortion had interrupted the bonding process with my daughter.  It affected every relationship I had.  The thing about abortion is, it promises to fix one problem but it delivers you many more.  It wasn’t until I hit my lowest that I realized that I could no longer live like I was.

I signed up for the PAST class at the Gainesville Care Center.  Through the course of the Bible study I found that God was there.  When I had fallen to my knees crying to God to take this pain from me, he had heard me all the while.  I did not see it at the time, but God brought His kingdom and He stood by my side.  I was never alone.  I never fought this fight alone.  Today, I am forgiven.   Not only forgiven by God but I have also forgiven myself.   I have peace, happiness and joy.  Things that had not existed before my God healed me.


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